What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you think a lot of sociopaths' parents kill themselves for having brought such disgusting evil into the world? How much shame and disgust must they carry?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

How do you feel about Donald Trump signing an executive order that says there are only two genders?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

I’m 17 and looking for a girl. What do I do?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How did you get to be a leftist?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

True - how I loved my mum!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

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What do you mean son?